Even as a teenager, I was always fascinated by the 4 personality types. I wanted to know and understand why people act the way they do. I wanted to know why I do what I do. So the journey began when I started reading books on the topic. And there are many authors who talk about the four personality types and they give them different names. I have chosen to refer to the 4 personality types as: fun-loving, take-charge, peace maker, and serious introvert.
The benefits of understanding the 4 personality types
So each type of personality has its pros and cons with it. No one personality type is perfect. However, each personality is useful in some virtuous way in this world and being able to understand all 4 types helped me so much to understand the people whom I grew up with, aka parents and siblings.
One very helpful insight I got from my studies was the understanding that the 4 personality types have very different needs and driving force in life. And understanding the difference can mean the difference between living happily on earth with your loved ones or coping with a living hell. Armed with this knowledge will also mean that you now understand why your brother is such a joker or why your mother is so controlling. You will be able to know that these people in your life wasn’t trying to annoy you. Simply put, they just couldn’t help it. It’s part of their personality type. It doesn’t make it right or okay, but at least now you know why.
Oh my goodness!! Here we go. I hope you can get some help and understanding about the people you have to live with. Maybe you can find out too that they are not trying to irk you. They just can’t help it.
Personality type 1: The fun-loving
The fun-loving is easy to spot. He is very entertaining. He is a happy person who likes to be around happy people. This person can adjust to different situations very quickly. He is your cheerleader. He makes you laugh all the time. This personality type likes to joke around alot. He is the life of the party. These are the pros.
The cons? Well, he is messy, disorganized, easily-distracted, hates structures, and is consistently inconsistent. He can be very self-absorbed, shallow and lazy. This personality type will make a joke of everything. Sometimes, he doesn’t know when to stop joking. That annoys the heck out of people who are trying to be serious for the moment. Life, for the fun-loving type, does not need to be meaningful. It just has to be fun. His driving force in life is FUN, FUN, FUN.
The worst punishment for this personality type is to lock him in a room with no TV, no phone, no internet. He will just simply “die” from boredom. Being around people keeps him energized. Remove the people, and he has no more energy nor the will to live.
Personality type 2: The take-charge
The take-charge type gets things done. He is super organized. He is diligent. This person is a do-er. He will get things done. He is task-oriented and is a leader. The more he has to do, the happier. He is not afraid of hard work. He thrives on appreciation and gratitude from others. These are the pros.
The cons? He can be very dominating, abrasive , highly critical and overbearing. He not only wants to control everything in his life but in yours as well. In addition, he can be very blunt with his words. He can tell you that you are ugly, smelly, and dumb all in one sentence. And think that he just did you a favor by giving you much needed, information that you are unaware of. Because of this, he often rubs people the wrong way.
Subsequently, if you have a parent or a spouse who is the take-charge type, he will tell you what to eat, what to wear, what is wrong with you and all the problems that you didn’t even know you had 5 minutes ago. Because in his eyes, he knows everything and you know nothing. It does not matter that you did not even solicit his advice nor opinion on anything to begin with. You don’t have to. Somehow, he feels that you are untitled to his unsolicited advice. Furthermore, he has absolutely no idea how hurtful his words can be. He seems to be unaware of the fact that good intentions does not justify for bad actions or words.
His driving force in life is CONTROL. Life becomes depressing when you take away his control. He may not be trying to hurt you. He is just totally oblivious to the amount of damage he can single-handedly do to others with his words.
Personality type 3: The peacemaker
The peacemaker is a very peaceful person. His motto in life is live and let live. He is never in a rush. The peacemaker takes his time. He is always careful not to offend anyone with his words or actions. In addition, he is super supportive as a friend and a great listening ear. He doesn’t need attention or recognition and is happy to blend in with the wallpaper. Of the 4 personality types, the peacemaker has the highest threshold for pain. These are the pros.
The cons? He takes forever and two days to make a decision on anything. The peacemaker avoids any type of challenges. and conflicts. He will give the appearance that he agrees with you even if every bone in his body is against what you just said to him. The peacemaker does this for the sake of peace. He will tell you what he knows you want to hear. His intention is not to deceive you, but to keep the peace. However, in doing so, deception takes place. He doesn’t have to like you. He will just make sure you never find out. Therefore, he will go along with the group. His driving force in life is PEACE at all costs. His question for the day is likely to be “why can’t we all just get along?”
Personality type 4: The serious introvert
The serious introvert is very detail oriented. He does his homework before entering into an argument with you so that he can present his evidence and findings. This personality type is analytical, deep, introspective and is not a fly by night. He is a keeper. He will plan for everything because he does not like surprises. This person is always 2 steps ahead of you. He is always orderly and neat in appearance. His hair is always combed. His teeth is always brushed. Get my point?
Furthermore, all of his clothes are hung about one inch apart from each other in his closet. And he folds his underwear. Furthermore, he is very clean because he hates dirt with a passion. These are the pros.
The cons? If you touch anything on his desk without permission, your head might get chopped off. Don’t mess with his stuff. Everything is in its place for a reason. You don’t have to like it nor agree with it. Just respect it. That means “hands off.” He is the closest thing to perfection. This person needs things to be in order and working. He doesn’t need friends as much as he needs a good book and a quiet corner. Being around alot of people often zaps his energy. His driving force in life is ORDER. When life is chaotic, he becomes depressed.
Conclusion:
I have only touched on the surface of these 4 personality types. There is so much more to say about them. Subsequently, I might write another page on the dynamics between the 4 and how they relate to each other. Having understanding, observation and experiences on this topic and the interaction between these 4 types were so eye-opening for me. Those who have not tapped into understanding these 4 personality types may not fully understand why couples argue and children rebel. But if they did, marriages can be saved and kids can be helped to live happily in the home front. Knowledge is powerful. This is the age of easily accessible information.
Bottom line: having understanding on all 4 personality types will make all the difference in the world. Don’t just take my word for it. Do your own research and find out. You will be so surprised in what you are about to discover. And after you get your wife back and your kids back, you will be so glad that you did.
For the video version of this topic, click here.
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