Here are some funny stories from Hawaii. A small collection of jokes that are enjoyed by the people of Hawaii. And if you are not from Hawaii, may these jokes help you to understand how some of the local people here enjoy their social time together. I hope these jokes will tickle your funny bone.
The Lunch Joke
A Hawaiian, a Japanese and a Portuguese man were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 19th floor of a Waikiki tower.
One day while eating lunch, the Hawaiian said, “Chicken long rice! I hate chicken long rice. If my wife makes me chicken long rice one more time for lunch, I’m going to jump off this tower.”
The Japanese man opened up his lunch and said, “oyaku donburi again! I hate oyaku donburi. If She makes me oyaku donburi one more time, I’m going to jump off, too.”
The Portuguese man then opened his lunch and said, “Portuguese sausage and rice again. I hate this. If I get Portuguese sausage and rice one more time, I’m jumping off also!”
Next day the Hawaiian opens his lunchbox, sees the chicken long rice and jumps to his death. The Japanese opens his lunch, sees the oyaku donburi and jumps too. Then finally, the Portuguese man opens his lunch, sees the Portuguese Sausage and rice and jumps to his death as well.
At the funeral, the Hawaiian man’s wife is weeping. She says, “If I’d known how really tired he was of chicken long rice, I would have given him squid luau.
The Japanese man’s wife also weeps and says, “I could have made for him shrimp tempura!” I didn’t realize he hated oyaku donburi so much.”
Then, everyone turned and stared at the Portuguese man’s wife. “Hey, don’t look at me” she said. “That dumb dumb, he makes his own lunch!”
Expensive Brains
A guy came to see the doctor and told the doctor he wants to buy a brain. The doctor said, “okay, I have three brains for you to choose from.”
Doc: “Brain #1 is a Chinese brain. It’s worth $150,000.”
The guy: “How come the Chinese brain is so expensive?”
Doc: “Because Chinese people are good at business. Everytime they open a restaurant, they always make money. Doesn’t everyone like beef broccoli and peking duck?
The guy: “Do you have any other brains, doc?”
Doc: Yes, brain #2 is a Japanese brain. Its worth $250,000.
The guy: How come the price is doubled the Chinese brain?
Doc: Japanese people are even more creative. They can make sushi in 4000 ways.
The guy: Still too expensive, any other brains, doc?
Doc: Yes, brain #3 is the local brain. It’s worth ten million dollars.
The guy: Whoa! Why so much? That’s more than the Chinese and Japanese brain combined.
Doc: That’s because it’s brand new, never been used.
The titah wife
Three men were sitting together boasting about how they had given their new wives responsibilities.
The first man had married a woman from Arkansas and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the laundry, and house cleaning. He said it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and all the clothes were washed.
The second man had married a woman from New York. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was responsible for all the meal preparations and to keep the kitchen spotless. On the first day he didn’t see any result. The next day it was better. By the third day, he saw that his kitchen was super clean and there was a huge 3-course dinner on the table waiting for him..
The third man had married a woman from Hawaii. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to wash the windows, wash the clothes, wash the dishes, wash the bathroom sink, and wash the rice. He said the first day he didn’t see anything, the second day he didn’t see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to load the washing machine, wash the dishes, and pick up the phone to order some take-out because his wife left him after she showed him who was boss.
Snack time?
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